I’m back. I feel like I say that a lot, and that my schedule goes off track quite a lot so I feel like every time I have to explain myself. The week before last I felt very anxious, shaky, paranoid and on edge. I managed to pull through to my night shift but afterwards I hit the slump of depression, I still had the anxiety but I had no energy to do anything. The negative thoughts were there and I become quite distressed. That night I had terrible sleep and woke up with the worst migraine I’ve ever had (I had the auras during the day so I knew it was coming). I was nauseous, dizzy and very uncomfortable with horrible skin sensations. Painkillers weren’t working and I was at a loss for what to do. I didn’t want to call in sick, especially with them letting me have a half day this week for an interview but I just couldn’t do it. I ended up taking the whole week off sick, I threw up outside the building where my interview was held (and I didn’t get the job anyway, but I felt I had to go). I ended up trying to go to work twice and having to leave after a short amount of time because I was so overwhelmed by the pain. The anxiety was the problem, I imagined my colleagues thinking of me a certain way for not turning up, I felt I was letting them down so I tried my best to fight everything and turn up for work. Then I felt a failure for having to go home. I was up and down, up and down all week and also suffering from terrible headaches that didn’t shift. I was prescribed special painkillers but I can’t take them more than twice a day. The headaches don’t leave, not even after I swapped my usual juice for water and increased my liquid intake, fresh fruit and veg didn’t help, I tried vitamins, more sleep, fresh air and nothing helped. The only thing that made me feel better was a cold compress and peppermint oil applied to my head. To be honest the headache is still there but the pain is more dull now and I can bear it and get on with things, I’ve barely been able to look at my laptop or phone all week and it feels good to just watch something on TV. I am back to posting and I’m going back to work tomorrow, something which is making me anxious, but I’m sure I’ll be fine. I don’t know whether any of you will read this, care why I wasn’t around this week, or even noticed I was gone but I just felt like I needed to explain.
Thanks for listening,